hope … change

You are the hope I have for change

You are the only chance I'll take

- Switchfoot (On Fire)

the past is just a conduit
and the light there at the end is where I'll be
- Relient K (Up and Up)

Coming to the end of 2013 and I am thinking about how far I have come since a year ago. One year ago, my hope was failing and I didn't see any chance for change. Now I have a new job, new home, new outlook.

Truth be told, I didn't know if I would make it. The long, dark years took their toll. But God, you never gave up on me. Even when I gave up on me. Even when I wanted to give up on you. You never let go of me.

My faith isn't--can't be--dependent only on what you can do for me. Still, the drastic change in my trajectory can't be attributed to anything but Your faithfulness to me, and seeing the abounding evidence of that faithfulness, I can't help but trust you more.

My God, I say from the depths of my heart, Not my will but Yours be done. The proof of transformation in my life built a foundation of trust on which I can stand firmly. I am nothing without you, but with you I am strong.

Whatever is useful in me for You, God use it. You are my hope. Use me to bring Your hope in this world. 

the shadow proves the sunshine

Cape Point, South Africa - 2006

"Oh Lord, why did You forsake me?
Oh Lord, don't be far away.
Storm clouds gathering beside me.
Please Lord, don't look the other way.

Crooked soul, trying to stay up straight.
Dry eyes in the pouring rain.
The shadow proves the sunshine."
- Switchfoot

Cape Town has a significant place in my heart, for it was there that I learned to trust my God. Really trust him. Sometimes I thought the shadows were too dark, but the sunshine was always brighter.

In my dark days over the past few years it was Switchfoot's music, and in particular this song, that kept me in the light. I was listening to the Nothing Is Sound album on the way to their show tonight, and reflecting on the meaning this song has for me. But I had no idea until tonight when it was highlighted in "Fading West" that this song was written in Cape Town.

Through storm clouds and pouring rain, through darkness and loneliness, God I know you have not forsaken me. When I thought the shadows couldn't get any darker, you would let a beam of light shine in to carry me through. The shadow proves the sunshine.