My heart's still beating

Awakening - Switchfoot

These dreams started singing to me out of nowhere 
And in all my life I 
Don't know that I've ever felt so alive, 
Alive

I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want know that my heart's still beating
I want to live like I know what I'm leaving
It's beating, it's beating

Wrote Martha an email a couple weeks ago: "dreaming." Now it looks like my dream will come true. My heart is still beating. The part of me that felt dead the last 4 years is still alive, and I feel alive again. 

Kazakhstan for my 30th birthday. 

I'm back.

Let justice and praise become my embrace

From the Inside Out – Hillsong United

A thousand times I've failed

Still your mercy remains

And should I stumble again

Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart and my soul, I give You control

Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains

The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart, my soul, Lord I give you control

Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise

From the inside out, O my soul cries out

My Soul cries out to You

My Soul cries out to You

to You, to You

My heart, my soul, Lord I give you control

Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise

From the inside out, O my soul cries out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise

From the inside out, O my soul cries out

From the inside out, O my soul cries out

From the inside out, O my soul cries out.

Hard to move beyond this fear

Let It Go  - Tenth Avenue North 

I've been holding on so tight

Look at these knuckles

They've gone white

I'm fighting for who I wanna be

I'm just trying to find security

But You say let it go, You say let it go

You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control

You say you will be, everything I need

You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul

You say let it go.

Well it's hard enough to hear

Harder still, to move beyond this fear

We know there's nothing I can bring,

So tell me what do you want from me?

But You say let it go, You say let it go

You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control

You say You will be, everything I need

You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul

You say let it go, You say let it go

What do I love?

What do I hate?

What will I lose?

What will I gain?

How do I save my soul?

What if I bend?

What if I break?

What will it cost?

What will it take?

For you to save my soul.

You say let it go, You say let it go

You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control

You say You will be, everything I need

You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul

You say let it go, You say let it go

You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control

You say you will be, everything I need

You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul

You say let it go, You say let it go

Back to normal

Studying at Zoka on Sunday

So happy to be back to "normal." I feel so much more like myself when I have something to study. Grad school started on Tuesday and I felt a weight (literally a wait) lift. This is who I am, who I have always been. A student, an analyst, a questioner, a reader, a writer, a creator. It feels like coming home.

I don't know what this means, but three people have asked me this week if I have considered Peace Corps. I have, but never felt like I was allowed to pursue it beyond interest. It is hard to be reminded of things I want - have wanted for years - but am not allowed to have: travel, work I am passionate about, the feeling that what I do matters. I just can't shake the fact that I would like to be a PCV. God, is that something I am allowed to hope for? I don't think I can bear more disappointment.

Pearls

Sometimes I get "the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls."

I want pearls. I am tired of searching and searching and never finding pearls - because I don't really allow myself to. I have spent years believing that I am not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough to deserve pearls. I don't want to believe that anymore. Enough.

To walk; to fly

This song has been on my mind. Today, I heard it on my way to work and on the way home. I first posted it last August. Back then, I had to keep repeating to myself "you love me anyway" because I was having a hard time believing it was true. Now, different words catch my attention:

It took more than my strength

To simply be still

To seek but never find...

Still you call me to walk

On the edge of this world

To spread my dreams and fly...

- You Love Me Anyway, Sidewalk Prophets

I reversed the order of the paragraphs because the words make more sense to me that way - in this place on my road. I finally feel like I am recovering from my "near-drowning experience" - the depression of the past year. I am barely able to believe I survived, and it has taken some time to re-gather my strength. But now I feel strong enough to again believe that you have a call for me, and that it is not only ok but possible to pursue my dreams. I had all but given up on that. Still amazed that you don't give up on me. Grateful for that. What a year.

Coffee Bay, South Africa

The One the wind and waves obey

Strong Enough to Save - Tenth Avenue North


You fought, but you were just too weak
So you lost all the things you tried to keep
Now you're on your knees
But wait, everything can change in a moments time
You don't have to be afraid
'Cause fear is just a lie
Open up your eyes

And He'll break open the skies to save
Those who cry out His name
The One the wind and waves obey
Is strong enough to save you

Look, now it's not too late
Lift up your head, let the rain fall on your face
You're not far from grace
You're not too far from grace

And He'll break open the skies to save
Those who cry out His name
The One the wind and waves obey
Is strong enough to save you
Break open the skies to save
Those who cry out His name
The One the wind and waves obey
Is strong enough to save you

I know the weight of this world can take you down like gravity and
I know current of yourself can take you out, out to sea
But hold on, hold on

And He'll break open the skies to save
Those who cry out His name
The One the wind and waves obey
Is strong enough to save you
Break open the skies to save
Those who cry out His name
The One the wind and waves obey
Is strong enough to save you

Just light the way and I'll go

You Lead - Jamie Grace

I've got waves that are tossin' me
Crashin' all over my beliefs
And in all sincerity, Lord
I wanna be yours
So pull me out of this mess I'm in
Cause I know I'm wanderin'
Lead my soul back home again
I've always been yours

And this world may push, may pull
But your love it never fails

You lead, I'll follow, Your hands hold my tomorrow
Your grip, Your grace, You know the way
You guide me tenderly

When you lead, I'll follow
Just light the way and I'll go
'Cause I know what you got for me is more than I can see
So lead me on, on, on and on
Just lead me on, on, on and on

As a child I heard your voice
But as a girl I made my choice
There is no other way for me
I'm devoted to you
You're my peace on the heavy days
You're the warmth of an autumn blaze
Your love carries me away
And it's never too soon, no...

And this world may push, may pull
But your mercy never fails

You lead, I'll follow, Your hands hold my tomorrow
Your grip, Your grace, You know the way
You guide me tenderly, yeah
When you lead, I'll follow
Just light the way and I'll go
'Cause I know what you got for me is more than I can see
So lead me on, on, on and on
Just lead me on, on, on and on

Sometimes when I wake up, I don't wanna rise up
Out of my bed, too many thoughts in my head
Don't wanna be who I used to be
Gonna take the back seat and let you lead
And I...
Need to stop, need to stop
'Cause I'm going too fast
And I...
Know my God is still God, and You got my back

You lead, I'll follow, Your hands hold my tomorrow
Your grip, Your grace, You know the way
You guide me tenderly, yeah
When you lead, I'll follow
Just light the way and I'll go
'Cause I know what you got for me is more then I can see

So lead me on...
Lead me on...

And I...
Need to stop, need to stop
'Cause I'm going too fast
And I...
Know my God is still God, and You got my back
You got my back
I know ya got me, I know ya got me
I know ya got me
Lead me on...

Where do I go from here?

For the Moments I Feel Faint - Relient K

Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?

Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you you're wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I throw up my hands
"Oh, the impossibilities"
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?

Now I'm searching for the confidence
I've lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles
is overcoming my fear

Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you you're wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
Gather my insufficiencies and
place them in your hands, place them in your hands, place them in your hands

Enough to light up the darkness

Your Love - Brandon Heath

I felt it first when I was younger
A strange connection to the lie
I tried to satisfy the hunger
I never got it right
I never got it right
So I climbed a mountain and l built an altar
Looked out as far as I could see
And everyday I'm getting older
I'm running outta dreams
I'm running outta dreams

But Your love
Your love
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It's Your love
Your love
all I ever needed is Your love

You know the effort I have given
And you know exactly what it cost
And though my innocence was taken
Not everything is lost
Not everything is lost

But Your love
Your love
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It's Your love
Your love
all I ever needed is Your love

You're the hope in the morning
You're the light when the night is falling
You're the song when my heart is singing
it's Your love
You're the eyes to the blind man
You're the feet to the lame men walking
You're the sound of the people singing
It's Your love

But Your love
Your love
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It's Your love
Your love
all I ever needed is Your love

But Your love
(Your love is all that I needed)
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
(Your love is all that I needed)
It's Your love
Your love
It's all I ever needed

It is not yet the end

"Everything will be alright in the end. So, if it is not alright, it is not yet the end."
- The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

A thirst this world can't satisfy

Blessings - Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

Looking forward to looking back

"I'm fine, but I'm not ok. I'm looking forward to looking back on these days." - Mandy Moore

"Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you..." - Hebrews 12:15

I know I’m not strong enough

Strong Enough - Matthew West

You must, You must think I’m strong
To give me what I’m going through
Well forgive me, forgive me if I’m wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up, I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t You cover me?
Lord, right now I’m asking You to be
Strong enough, strong enough
For the both of us

Well maybe, maybe that’s the point
To reach the point of giving up
‘Cause when I’m finally, finally at rock bottom
That’s when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up, I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t You cover me?
Lord, right now I’m asking You to be
Strong enough, strong enough

‘Cause I’m broken
Down to nothing
But I’m still holding on to the one thing
You are God
And You are strong when I am weak
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
And I don’t have to be strong enough
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
And I don’t have to be
Strong enough, strong enough
Oh yeah

I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up, I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t You cover me?
Lord, right now I’m asking You to be
Strong enough, strong enough, strong enough

The last shall be first

I attended the Justice Conference this weekend in Portland. How refreshing to be with people who care what happens to the oppressed and afflicted in this world. Refreshed. Renewed. Restored. Reinspired. Grateful.

"I don't know why the innocents fall
While the monsters stand
I don't know why the little ones thirst
But I know the last shall be first"



(http://thejusticeconference.com/#about-link)



Flags - Brooke Fraser

Come, tell me your trouble
I'm not your answer
But I'm a listening ear

Reality has left you reeling
All facts and no feeling
No faith and all fear

I don't know why a good man will fall
While a wicked one stands
And our lives blow about
Like flags on the land

Who's at fault is not important
Good intentions lie dormant
And we're all to blame

While apathy acts like an ally
My enemy and I are one and the same

I don't know why the innocents fall
While the monsters still stand
And our lives blow about
Like flags on the land

I don't know why our words are so proud
Yet their promise soothing
And our lives blow about
Like flags in the wind

Oh oh oh oh

You who mourn will be comforted
You who hunger will hunger no more
All the last shall be first
Of this I am sure

You who weep now will laugh again
All you lonely be lonely no more
Yes, the last will be first
Of this I'm sure

I don't know why the innocents fall
While the monsters stand
I don't know why the little ones thirst
But I know the last shall be first
I know the last shall be first
I know the last shall be first

Today we have today

There's just two ways to lose yourself in this life
and neither way is safe.
In my dreams I see visions of the future,
but today we have today.

- Switchfoot (Economy of Mercy)

How long till your voice speaks clearly?

This doesn't seem so applicable now, but it is a song I have leaned on during the hard days when I could not hear You or feel You.

Tonight the Stars Speak - The Glorious Unseen

Tonight the stars speak of your infinite love
And it serves to remind me
That what I have means nothing at all
Compared to your glory, Oh lord

How long till your voice speaks clearly?
How long till your arms envelope me?
I cry be my strength when I am weak
Oh Lord have mercy on me please

My spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak
I cry in your arms now
God grant me the strength to rest in you
I lift my hands and cry

More than a match for my heart

Thy Mercy

Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song,
The joy of my heart, and the boast of my tongue.
Thy free grace alone, from the first to the last,
Hath won my affection and bound my soul fast.

Without Thy sweet mercy, I could not live here.
Sin would reduce me to utter despair,
But through Thy free goodness, my spirit's revived
And He that first made me still keeps me alive.

Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart.
Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground
And weep for the praise of the mercy I've found.

(Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah)
Hallelujah
(Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah)

Great Father of mercies, Thy goodness I own
In the covenant love of Thy crucified Son.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.

Well, Hallelujah
Hallelujah (Hallelujah)
Well, Hallelujah

It's good to be with You, old friend.

Old Friend - Supertones

What do I know? Somebody tell me.
I've been running from You so long.
Please help me Lord.
Find my direction.
I just can't do it on my own.

You lift me up. You rescue me.
It's good to be with You,
old friend.

Sometimes I think,
how can You love me?
My thoughts are so far from Your own.
Why choose me Lord?
I'm a poor reflection.
Why use me to make Yourself known?

I am His and He is mine

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song.
This Cornerstone, this solid ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, who took on flesh;
fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
scorned by the ones he came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died
the wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain.
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory
sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
for I am His and He is mine -
bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me.
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man
can ever pluck me from His hand.
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Greater than my strife is His grasp

Hold Fast - MercyMe

To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go
I promise there is hope

Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast

Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life?

Please do not let go
I promise you there's hope

You may think you're all alone
And there's no way that anyone could know
What you're going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we're soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone?
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity, Lord
Here He comes

Martha's Fresh Air for Saturday

Don't be anxious about things you cannot comprehend.

"Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust in me."
John 14:1

When I confess that You know best...

Good For Me - Watermark

You bring life to my bones
And a spring to my step
And a heart that knows what it means
To wait before You
Laughter into my house
And a time to sing and shout
And a heart that knows what it means
To really trust You
And when the shadow of sorrow comes
I will fall on the only One I know
Is the Rock that won't be shaken

Chorus
'Cause it is good for me
To lay it down at Your feet
It is good for me to lay the good and bad
In Your hand, my God
It is good for me
To lay it down at Your feet
It is good for me

You are the constant One
When my life is overwhelmed
And You stay the same when all around is changing
And, oh, how good it is, yeah
Just to know the life You give
And my song shall ever be
That my God is faithful
And when the shadow of sorrow comes
I will fall on the only One I know
Is the Rock that won't be shaken

And when I delight myself in You
You give me the desires of my heart,
When I confess that You know best
Peace flows like a river and joy comes in the morning

Hope through patient endurance

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. ... Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.
- Hebrews 10:23, 36

And the tears of the people ran together

http://www.washington.edu/alumni/learn/2012history.html

Great lecture tonight: Peace Versus Forgiveness in Northern Ireland Today. For me, so many flashbacks to South Africa/HFB (10-year celebration dinner last week) and to ROM (Tihomir was just here, although I did not go to his talk). And then he played, "There Were Roses" (which has been on my ipod a lot lately). I keep seeing Theron at these things. And Dr. Coutu is now involved in a conflict resolution program, too. I can't help but conclude that there must be some sort of connection between all of these and some reason all of these pieces of my past are colliding right now. Hoping...


Abstract:
Between 1969 and 1998, Northern Ireland, the only part of the island that remains part of Britain, suffered the loss of roughly 3,600 civilians in a vicious dispute over who rightfully "owns" its 1.5 million people. Everyone lost in this barbaric contest, from hard-line Protestant "loyalists," to equally fierce Catholic "republicans," to often perplexed British soldiers. The much-celebrated Good Friday Accord of April 1998 marked what some have called the beginning of the end of civil war in the North. Today, Northern Ireland is generally classified as a "post-conflict society." But what really happens when the shooting stops in a place that has known only mayhem for a generation? Can there be real peace without personal forgiveness? What is the way forward in the six counties of Northern Ireland? And what can the tortuous path toward peace in Ireland suggest about our expectations for healing in other fractured lands?

About Professor Behlmer
George Behlmer is a UW Professor of History and Director of Undergraduate Studies. Author of three books and several prize-winning articles, he has taught modern British and Irish history at Stanford, Yale, and the University of Washington since 1977. He holds a Ph.D. and M.A. from Stanford, and a B.A. from the University of California at Santa Barbara. His classroom contributions were recognized with the University of Washington's Distinguished Teaching Award in 1982.

Praise you through my circumstance

In the corners of mind
I just can't seem to find a reason to believe
That I can break free
Cause you see I have been down for so long
Feel like the hope is gone
But as I lift my hands, I understand
That I should praise you through my circumstance

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you

Everything that could go wrong
All went wrong at one time
So much pressure fell on me
I thought I was gonna lose my mind
I know you wanna see
If I will hold on through these trials
But I need you to lift this load
Cause I can't take it anymore

- Shackles (Praise You), Mary Mary

Simply put your hope in Me

Take My Hand - The Kry

I know there are times
Your dreams turn to dust
You wonder as you cry
Why it has to hurt so much
Give Me all your sadness
Someday you will know the reason why
With a child-like heart,
simply put your hope in Me

Take My hand and walk where I lead
Keep your eyes on Me alone
Don't you say why were the old days better
Just because you're scared of the unknown
Take My hand and walk

Don't live in the past
'Cause yesterday's gone
Wishing memories would last,
You're afraid to carry on
You don't know what's comin'
But you know the One who holds tomorrow
I will be your guide,
Take you through the night
If you keep your eyes on Me

Take My hand and walk where I lead
Keep your eyes on me alone
Don't you say why were the old days better
Just because you're scared of the unknown
Take My hand and walk where I lead
You will never be alone
Faith is to be sure of what you hope for
In the evidence of things unseen
So take My hand and walk

Just like a child holding daddy's hand,
Don't let go of mine
You know you can't stand on your own

Take My hand and walk where I lead
Keep your eyes on Me alone
Don't you say why were the old days better
Just because you're scared of the unknown
Take My hand and walk where I lead
You will never be alone
Faith lives to be sure of what you hope for
in the evidence of things not seen
So take My hand and walk

Throw me a lifeline

Yesterday, I thought I had almost reached the ship. But it drifted away again today. Will I ever make it, God? Will you ever pull me onboard? Is it just a mirage? It feels like I will be treading water forever. I am tired. I am not sure how much longer I will last. I want to hope, but hope is very small right now.


Lifeline - Brooke Fraser

I have this sinking feeling
Something's weighing me down
I am completely saturated
The waves are crashing closer
My feet already drowned
Doing the thing I said I hated

They've been swimming in the wrong water
Now they're pulling me down
But I am clinging to you, never letting go
'Cos I know that you'll lift me out

Have your way here
Keep me afloat 'cos I know I'll sink without you
Take this ocean of pain that is mine
Throw me a lifeline

Wake up feeling convicted
I know something's not right
Re-acquaint my knees with the carpet
I have to get this out
'Cos it's obstructing you and I
Dry up the seas that keep us parted

'Cos they've been swimming in the wrong waters
And now they're pulling me down
But I am clinging to you, never letting go
'Cos I know that you are gonna pull me out

Have your way here
Keep me afloat 'cos I know I'll sink without you
Take this ocean of pain that is mine
Throw me a lifeline

They've been swimming in the wrong waters
And now they're pulling me down
But I am clinging to you, never letting go
'Cos I know, 'cos I know

Have your way here
Keep me afloat 'cos I know I'll sink without you
Take this ocean of pain that is mine
Throw me a lifeline

too close to home

We will not lose hope

In Like a Lion (Always Winter) - Relient K

It's always nice to look out the window
And see those very first few flakes of snow
And later on we can go outside
And create the impression of an angel that just fell from the sky

When February rolls around I'll roll my eyes
Turn a cold shoulder to these even colder skies
And by the fire my heart it heaves a sigh
For the green grass waiting on the other side

It's always winter but never Christmas
It seems this curse just can't be lifted
Yet in the midst of all this ice and snow
Our hearts stay warm cause they are filled with hope

It'd be so nice to look out the window
And see the leaves on the trees begin to show
The birds would congregate and sing
A song of birth a song of newer things

The wind would calm and the sun would shine
I'd go outside and I'd squint my eyes
But for now I will simply just withdraw
Sit here and wish for this world to thaw

And everything it changed overnight
This dying world you brought it back to life
And deep inside I felt things
Shifting everything was melting
Away oh away
And you gave us the most beautiful of days

Cause when it's always winter but never Christmas
Sometimes it feels like you're not with us
But deep inside our hearts we know
That you are here and we will not lose hope

Not just the parts I want to

No Sacrifice - Jason Upton

To you I give my life;
Not just the parts I want to.
To you I sacrifice
these dreams that I hold on to.

Your thoughts are higher than mine.
Your words are deeper than mine.
Your love is stronger than mine.
This is no sacrifice; here's my life.

To you I give the gifts
your love has given me.
How can I hoard the treasures
that you designed for free?

Your thoughts are higher than mine.
Your words are deeper than mine.
Your love is stronger than mine.
This is no sacrifice; here's my life.

To you I give my future,
as long as it may last.
To you I give my present,
to you I give my past.

Your thoughts are higher than mine.
Your words are deeper than mine.
Your love is stronger than mine.
Your thoughts are higher than mine.
Your words are deper than mine.
Your love is stronger than mine.
This is no sacrifice; here's my life.