Faith Without Deeds is Dead

Now that I have seen I am responsible. Faith without deeds is dead. – Brook Fraser

I love this song (Albertine). At the suggestion of a friend, I downloaded Brook Fraser's song Shadowfeet about a year ago. I didn't really listen to it much, but then I started hearing it on the radio and fell in love with it and with Brook's voice and the way she sculpts with words. After that, I downloaded the whole album. And this song called Albertine really stuck a chord for me. I totally identified with it, although relating the experience to a different part of the world. But the words are universal: "Now that I have seen, I am responsible. Faith without deeds is dead." I couldn't get these words out of my head. For the past few months, I have routinely been falling asleep to this album. It was actually largely due to songs on this album that I had such difficulty being willing to settle for just any job. I desperately missed being in Eastern Europe, and I thought if I am supposed to be here in Seattle, at least God must have a better purpose for me to be here than working at Starbucks or something. Clearly He did, because I have been working at World Vision for 2 weeks now. Imagine my surprise this morning at devotions when they played a video of an interview Brook Fraser did, talking about the child she sponsors in Rwanda - the one about whom she wrote the song Albertine! The main take-away from devotions this morning was "Now that I have seen, I am responsible. Faith without deeds is dead." Coincidence? I don't believe in coincidence. I have had many opportunities in my 26 years to see and learn about the poverty, destruction, fear, hatred, and hopelessness that affect so many lives around the world. What good is all this knowledge and experience if I don't share it and use it to try to make a difference? What good does it do a starving child if I just feel bad that she is starving? What good does it do people in Eastern Europe or southern Africa if I just feel bad that communities and lives were destroyed in a past "ethnic war"? Being responsible means not accepting the status quo. God calls us to be good stewards of the resources he gives us - even if those resources are experiences and knowledge. Now that I have seen, I am responsible. Faith without deeds is dead. I pray that God will help my faith be reflected by my actions.


Albertine - Brook Fraser

I am sitting still
I think of Angelique
Her mother's voice over me
And the bullet's in the wall where it fell silent
I'm on a thousandth hill, I think of Albertine
There in her eyes what I don't see with my own
Rwanda

Now that I have seen, I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you in my own arms,
I cannot let go till you are

I am on a plane across a distant sea
But I carry you in me
And the dust on, the dust on, the dust on
the dust on, the dust on my feet
Rwanda

Now that I have seen, I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you in my own arms,
I cannot let go till you are

I will tell the world, I will tell them where I've been
I will keep my word
I will tell them Albertine
Rwanda

Now that I have seen, I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you in my own arms,
I cannot let go till you are

I am on a stage, a thousand eyes on me
I will tell them, Albertine
I will tell them, Albertine

I Will Go

I have loved this song for awhile. It seemed really applicable as I traversed other continents. But when it came on on my iPod tonight, I realized it can be just as pertinent to me while I am serving here in Seattle - much as I have tried to convince myself otherwise in the past.

I Will Go - Starfield

To the desperate eyes and reaching hands
To the suffering and the lean
To the ones the world has cast aside
Where you want me I will be

I will go, I will go
I will go, Lord send me
To the world, To the lost
To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
I'm clay within your hands
I will go, I will go, send me

Let me not be blind with privilege
Give me eyes to see the pain
Let the blessing You've poured out on me
Not be spent on me in vain
Let this life be used for change

I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you

I'm Letting Go

For awhile back there this winter everything seemed so blah. Gray weather, gray skies, gray mood. I was sick, tired, and sick and tired of not having any clarity about my next step in life. I was tired of praying because I wasn't hearing any response. God, are you there? Are you even listening to me? I didn't know what to do next, although I clearly knew I was not in control. Then I started hearing this song on the radio. Not just once or twice, but pretty much every time I got into my car or turned on the radio at home. I'm not one to believe in coincidence. I believe everything that happens in our lives has a purpose. So I couldn't ignore this song. I knew it meant something and that I just had to wait and see what. Now with a little hindsight, it's becoming clearer. God was definitely trying to get my attention.


I'm Letting Go - Francesca Battistelli

My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge

Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

Chorus
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

Chorus
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid

Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me

I Love My Job!

"I love my job!" Yes, these are words I have actually said this week about what I spend 40 hours a week getting paid for. Even though this was what I prayed for, I'm still somehow surprised to hear myself say this seemingly-elusive phrase. True, I've only had this job for a week, but I have a hard time seeing how subsequent weeks could be any less amazing than week 1. It's been a little overwhelming because there is so much to learn and the expectation is very high, but I do believe that God equips the called, and I don't have any reason to fear that he won't help me learn what I need to learn to do the job he called me to. How cool is it that I get to spend my days talking to and praying with awesome people who love God and are doing their best to make sure his children around the world are provided for?! This is not necessarily what I thought I'd be doing, but I love it.

Employed!

Reading back over what I wrote a couple of weeks ago, I am struck by just how faithful God is and how he provides in his own perfect timing. I still don't think it has sunk in that I am, in fact, employed! A few weeks ago, I wrote:

2009 has gotten off to an unsatisfying and slow start. I am still frustratingly unemployed. I am quite sure that God is teaching me something through this, but I am still obliviously unaware of what that something is. Until I find a source of income and some vacation time, it seems I will be resting firmly on US soil and re-learning how to live life in a city and country where I am a "local."

Well, within the past two weeks, I learned about an opportunity, applied for it, was interviewed and hired and have already started working. Wow! In a recession economy, no less!! And not just that - I am working for an organization I really want to work for, not just settling for whatever would pay the bills. What a blessing. That is how big my God is! When he wants to make something happen, it happens. Technically I still have to complete 13 weeks of training before I am "officially" hired, but I feel like receiving a paycheck counts as being employed.

I am happy to be working for World Vision, where I can feel passionate about the 40 hours a week I spend at work. I have a lot of information to absorb in the upcoming days and weeks, but I know that God is in control and he put me in this place at this time to do his work. I will let his grace be sufficient for me and rely on his strength to be made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), for I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).

Words of confirmation

It seems like each day this week at work, God has been sending me words I need to hear. Yesterday during DCS devotions, one woman read this poem. It felt like she was voicing out loud some of the main points God has been trying to make to me over the past couple months.

Perfection vs. Excellence - Author Unknown

Perfection is being right
Excellence is willing to be wrong

Perfection is fear
Excellence is risk

Perfection is anger & frustration
Excellence is powerful

Perfection is control
Excellence is spontaneous

Perfection is judgment
Excellence is accepting

Perfection is taking
Excellence is giving

Perfection is doubt
Excellence is confidence

Perfection is pressure
Excellence is flowing

Perfection is a destination
Excellence is a journey

I know that I am where I am supposed to be right now, and I just pray that God will help me do the best job I can to serve him while I am here.

10/24/09 - An update. It's funny looking back at this now. The woman who read this was Janette. God definitely used her to speak to me that day. It was such confirmation because I was stuck for so long afraid to take any step, for fear it might be in the wrong direction. But God told me that my steps do not need to be perfect. I just have to try, and do my best. He will work out the rest. I just need to take the leap of faith. He is reminding me of this again these days. I am thankful that He doesn't give up on me, even when I need to learn the same lessons over and over. God is good.