Depth

Why do tears open the door to the deepest aches of my heart?

Little drops of water containing the concentrated stuff of my emotions. Of my being.

Just for a moment they linger. But gone, that depth still felt long after.

My soul open, vulnerable.

How does momentary recollection leave such weight?

It is the substance of the memory.

Because of who you were, and who you were to me.

The significance, the awareness of how great the loss.

Sometimes I think that you are completely gone.

That I can't feel the wound anymore.

That I can't remember you.

But in a moment, a flicker of memory, I feel you.

I know I will always feel you.

These moments make me weak, but keep me strong.


I love you, Mom.

I cannot go alone

This song has been in my heart for awhile, but facing Urbana in December, somehow it is even more meaningful to me.

In Me - Casting Crowns

If you asked me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If you ask me to go
Preach to a lost world that Jesus saves

I'll go, but I cannot go alone
'Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong

'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability

How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that you want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me

If you ask me to run
And carry your light into foreign land
If you ask me to fight
Deliver your people from satan's hand

I'll go, but I cannot go alone
'Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong

'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability

How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me

To reach out with Your hands
See the world through Your eyes
To love with the love of a Savior
To feel with Your heart
and to think with Your mind
I'd give my last breath for Your glory

'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability

When I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability

How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me
The power of Christ in me
The power of Christ in me

If we gotta start sometime, I say now

City on our Knees - TobyMac

If you gotta start somewhere why not here
If you gotta start sometime why not now
If we gotta start somewhere I say here
If we gotta start sometime I say now
Through the fog there is hope in the distance
From cathedrals to third world missions
Love will fall to the earth like a crashing wave

Tonight’s the night
For the sinners and the saints
Two worlds collide in a beautiful display
It’s all love tonight
When we step across the line
We can sail across the sea
To a city with one king
A city on our knees
A city on our knees

If you gotta start somewhere why not here
If you gotta start sometime why not now
If we gotta start somewhere I say here
If we gotta start sometime I say now
Through the fog there is hope in the distance
From cathedrals to third world missions
Love will fall to the earth like a crashing wave

Tonight’s the night
For the sinners and the saints
Two worlds collide in a beautiful display
It’s all love tonight
When we step across the line
We can sail across the sea
To a city with one king
A city on our knees
A city on our knees

Tonight couldn’t last forever
We are one choice from together
Tonight couldn’t last forever
Tonight couldn’t last forever
We are one choice from together
As family
We’re family
Oh Tonight couldn’t last forever
We are one choice from together
You and me
Yeah, you and me
Tonight’s the night
For the sinners and the saints
Two worlds collide
In a glorious display
'Cause it's all love tonight
When we step across the line
We can sail across the sea
To a city with one king
A city on our knees
A city on our knees

A city on our knees
A city on our knees

If we gotta start somewhere why not here
If we gotta start sometime why not now

I'll follow You into the World

God and I just decided that I'm going to Urbana in December. I wonder what He is going to show me there?


Follow You - Leeland and Brandon Heath

You live among the least of these
The weary and the weak
And it would be a tragedy
For me to turn away

All my needs You have supplied
When I was dead You gave me life
So how could I not give it away so freely?
And I'll

Follow You into the homes of the broken
Follow You into the world
Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God
Follow You into the world

Use my hands use my feet
To make Your kingdom come

To the corners of the earth
Until Your work is done

Faith without works is dead
On the cross Your blood was shed
So how could we not give it away so freely?

Follow You into the homes of the broken
Follow You into the world ooooh
Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God
Follow You into the world

And I give all myself, I give all myself
I give all myself to YOU

Follow You into the homes of the broken
Follow You into the world (Follow YOU)
Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God
Follow You into the world

Follow You into the homes of the broken
Follow You into the world
Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God

With eyes open wide I'm taking You in

Say It - Britt Nicole

Okay, so I'm gonna say it
I'm not afraid to say it
The clocks on my wall keep ticking
the moments that I keep missing
Okay, so I must confess that
I've settled for so much less than
What You designed
I'm not taking my life one day at a time

'Cause life is short and quickly passing by
Father, will You help me make the most of what is mine
With eyes open wide
I'm taking You in
Making the time
Mean all that it can
I don't need a sign
I just need to begin, need to begin like this
With every second of every minute
I'm livin' in it and that's how I say it
Oh yeah, I'm gonna say it, oh yeah, yeah
That's how I say it
Oh yeah I'm gonna say it, oh, oh

I got so much to discover
A hand I could lend another
A word that could bring some healing
Is there any better feeling?
Hold up, gotta see the beauty
Hold up, gotta let it move me
I wanna be, with You here in the now
I'm done missing out

Let me fall in Your arms
Resting here in Your arms, I found
A peace like I have never known, like I have never known
Counting every star
Nothing's ever too far
With You here
I see it all so clear

With eyes open wide
I'm taking You in
Making the time
Mean all that it can
I don't need a sign
I just need to begin
With every second of every minute
I need you in it

With eyes open wide
I'm taking You in
Making the time
Mean all that it can
I don't need a sign
I just need to begin, need to begin like this
With every second of every minute
I'm livin' in it and that's how I say it
Oh yeah, I'm gonna say it, oh yeah, yeah
That's how I say it
Oh yeah I'm gonna say it, oh, oh
that's how I say it
Oh yeah, I'm gonna say it, oh yeah, yeah
Oh yeah, I'm gonna say it

You're a God who has all things and still You want me

I Need You to Love Me - Barlow Girl

Why, why are You still here with me
Didn't You see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself away
But it's here I see the truth
That I don't deserve You

But I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need You to love me

I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing You away from me
I just never saw how You could cherish me
'Cause You're a God who has all things
And still You want me

Your love makes me forget what I have been
Your love makes me see who I really am
Your love makes me forget what I have been

You have the chance to change it

On Saturday, God led me to give a devotion at work about not being afraid. We need to pray for the courage to step out in faith and let God work through us - to be the people He created us to be. We don't have to be the ones to change people. All we have to do is put the information out - because how will people know if we don't tell them? - and then it is up to the Spirit to work in them. Isn't it a relief to realize we don't have to do it on our own?

The Lost Get Found - Britt Nicole

Hello my friend
I remember when you were
So alive with your wide eyes
Then the light that you had in your heart was stolen
Now you say that it ain't worth stayin'
You wanna run but you're hesitatin'
I'm talkin' to me

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

So when you get the chance
Are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it
There's a girl on the streets, she's cryin'
There's a man whose faith is dyin'
Love is calling you

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

Why do we go with the flow
Or take an easier road?
Why are we playin' it safe?
Love came to show us the way
Love is a chance we should take
I'm movin' out of the way

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
(Stand out)
Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
(Stand out)
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

So when you get the chance
Are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it