Long December...

Counting Crows' Long December has been a mainstay in the soundtrack of my life since I first heard it back in middle school. Probably something about the way it captures both sweetness and melancholy, joy and pain. Like life. Both gratefulness and longing. And at different times in my life I identify with different lyrics.

Last year, all I could think was 

"… and the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls…

Long December, and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last…"

I felt stuck. I felt hopeless. I didn't see any way out. And although I couldn't quite allow myself to hope that things would improve, I also couldn't allow myself to believe that they could get worse. 

God, you stuck with me through the blackness. Though the hopelessness. Through the tears and the despair. 

You rescued me. 

I still look back in amazement at the way you did it. It is still hard to believe the difference a year makes. 

This December I find myself singing 

"I can't remember all the times I've tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass…"