What a year.

What. a. year.

I honestly don't know if I could have survived a year like this 2 years ago. But I have come a long way since then. I have a stronger sense of self, and confidence in who I am and what I have to offer. I don't take rejection so hard anymore. And I feel more confident than ever that God is there even in the midst of unimaginable circumstances. Losing my job. Losing my home. Trump becoming president.

It has definitely felt like a year filled with successive loss. Since I started looking for a new job last September, I have spent countless hours searching, applying, writing and rewriting responses, interviewing, purchasing "dress" clothes (ughhhhh), and every time facing resounding NOs. Nothing has panned out, nothing is certain. I'm now working harder than ever before only to try to qualify for unemployment payments (not an easy task!).

And if we're talking about instability and uncertainty, since our lease ended and we were forced (financially) to move out of our apartment, I have moved 7 times. 7 times. In 10 weeks. I moved 3 times in one year awhile back, and thought that was hard! But at least at that time I had places to move to. This time, I have been couch surfing and house sitting. And I am SO incredibly grateful for my dear friends who have welcomed me into their homes. But I have never been able to fully relax in this time - always worried about invading other people's space and not wanting to damage relationships.

Aside from the incredible uncertainty in my personal life, this has also been a time of upheaval in my country - which, let's be honest - has caused upheaval throughout the world.

What a year.

I was extremely disheartened by the results of the presidential election. Although I don't face much discrimination compared to many people, and I'm not afraid for my personal safety, I do worry about what will happen to me financially and health-wise if I can't afford health insurance or student loans payments. And I seriously worry about what will happen to the earth as a result of leaders who deny climate change and refuse to do anything to reverse it. And I worry about the interpersonal conflict in my country and around the world. It seems to be increasingly vitriolic, and I truly wonder how we move forward from this.

But all that said, after having taken a few days to lament and gather my strength, I start today hopeful for the future. Personally, I've finally had some success in the job market. And I'm reminded that the world has survived terrible conflict before. I'm convicted to stay engaged, not to avoid talking to people I disagree with but engage in productive and civil dialogue, to support people who feel that their safety is at risk, and ultimately to do whatever I can to create peace in my world.

We are - I am - in uncharted territory, navigating new waters. So I know it will not be easy. But "they" say that nothing worth fighting for is easy. I am praying for strength and courage, for tools and empathy and opportunities to build relationships and encourage us toward a more just and peaceful world. Wearing my t-shirt from this year's Justice Conference for the first time today, and I think it's perfect:

Live
Justice
Together